Glimpse of Adequacy-OLD

Okay. So, let's start with the technical stuff first, then I'll tackle your creativity.

In the technical department, you've got everything correct. Your couplet is great along with the questions and statements you pose. The piece's only grammatical issue is your POV (Point of View) shifts. You speak of "her work and tasks, but then you identify yourself as the "her".

I'm sure that your POV shifts are on purpose, but you need to realize that a villanelle is only 19 lines long; thus, it is difficult to slip in different points of view without confusing your readers. This also falls under part of my critique on your creativity.

Your 5th stanza has an punctuation error.

As gathering autumns mess; the rake

you must remember that if you are to use a semicolon, then your second independent clause must have a subject and a verb that relates directly to your first independent clause. the rake is a fragment. You have a modifier and a subject, but you'll need a verb.

However, I know that adding a verb may be difficult, because the line needs to rhyme with the other middle lines in each stanza. So, I suggest -- and this is the best idea, in my opinion -- that you simply remove the semicolon and add a double hyphen. You'll have to add a double hyphen, because one signifies that you're combining two words and making it one. On the other hand, a double hyphen signifies that you're combing two different statement that are somewhat related to each other.

All you really have to do is correct your POV shifts. I think that once you correct that, your readers will be able to understand your piece more easily, and you piece will become stronger.

I hope this helps.